Recently, you may have heard, the Dallas Independent School District (DISD) passed an anti-bullying policy after a number of students committed suicide from being bullied. Bullying is nothing new. People have faced it, or been a part of it since the beginning of time. It has been done for many reasons, whether a kid crying out for attention, a reflection of one’s home life, the thought that one is better than another, etc. The simple fact is, the strong, in one way or another, always innately prey on the weak. That being said, it has been a part of shaping our lives.

Why do I bring this up? What do these two, loosely tied statements have to do with one another? And how does this have any spiritual bearing? In the New Testament book of Matthew, chapter five, Jesus is teaching what has been called, “The Sermon on the Mount.” Jesus has been teaching on the norms of the Kingdom of God, that is to say, how it works and how it looks in the lives of those who are a part of the Kingdom. You have the beatitudes. Then there is Christ’s discussion on how we are salt and light. But it is after those two passages that I want to draw attention.  Beginning in verse seventeen, Jesus says that He has not come to abolish the Law or the Prophets, but to fulfill them. Now for those who do not know the Bible, the Law and Prophets constitute what we call, the Old Testament.  It is how God worked in the lives of people and revealed who He is, what He has done, and what He wants from us before Jesus ever entered the scene bodily.

What does it mean when Jesus said, He came to “fulfill” the Law and Prophets? Mostly, people understand it to be that Jesus fulfilled the Law in that the obeyed it perfectly. There were 613 Laws, often divided by modern scholars into three categories: moral law, civil law, and ceremonial law. The moral law contains the Ten Commandments (e.g. don’t commit murder, don’t lie, don’t steal, etc.). These govern what ALL people can agree and define as general rules of morality. The civil law addresses how to deal with one another (e.g. customs, how to handle a disagreement, divorce, etc.). It’s like the law of the land, so to speak. The ceremonial law is more the rituals that we understand (e.g. how one dresses, what foods to eat and not eat, how to sacrifice, how to worship, etc.) We acknowledge that Jesus was the only one who has ever obeyed the entire thing perfectly. However, most of the ceremonial and civil laws he didn’t have to worry about since He never sinned/was outside of the will of God for our lives. Since He was sinless, that is what most people consider to be the fulfilling of the law – He fulfilled its requirements. Yet this misses a bit of the point. So does the interpretation of the Prophets, that Jesus is the summation of all the prophecies given concerning salvation. May I repeat, while these do work for interpretation, they fall short. The answer, then, is found in verse twenty, when Jesus says, “For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the Kingdom of heaven,” and the verses that follow it, for they elaborate on that point.

Let me say this, the scribes and Pharisees were the teachers of the Law and Prophets. They were religious men. They were the men that, more closely than the rest, obeyed the Law. Yet we, being the current audience, are expected to “exceed” or surpass that righteousness, that right action. How? Jesus goes on and addresses some of the Law.

He first brings up the law, “do not commit murder.” Yet He tells them that if they are angry with their brother (fellow man), if they insult and deride him, call him a fool, that they are subject to judgment by man and God, and are in danger of going to hell. For being angry?! Jesus got angry. The word that is translated “angry” here, more adequately could be translated as unrighteous anger or wrath. It is that unrelenting, unjust, unforgiving anger that leads to hate. Jesus equates this kind of anger with murder in one’s heart. The second law Jesus discusses is adultery, “do not commit adultery,” that is to say, don’t have sex with someone to whom you are not married. Yet Jesus says that if one looks at another “lustfully,” with a selfish, ungodly desire, then he/she has already committed adultery with that person in his/her heart.

The point Jesus getting at is this: it is not just enough to just obey the letter of the law. The Pharisees and scribes did that. What Jesus expects of us is the change of heart. To follow the Law, not only by the letter, but by the heart of it. Murder begins with unjust anger and unforgiveness in the heart. Adultery beings with lust. That’s why Jesus says then, “if your right hand causes you to stumble/sin, cut it off…and if one of your eyes causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away.” He is not being literal here. That would be ridiculous. What He is getting at is that there are places a Christian should not go, things a Christian should not do, and things a Christian should not look at. True obedience/conformity to God, true repentance, involves a change of heart.

Address what is in your heart. Turn your heart to serve God. Then, the letter of the Law, the symptoms of the sickness are taken care of. You see, it’s not just enough to treat the symptoms because the person is still sick. You have to let Christ, God, the Great Physician as He is sometimes called, come in and clean out the unrighteousness and sinful nature that leads to murder, adultery, etc. Christ fulfilled the Law and Prophets by embodying and living in the heart of Scripture. He lived in conformity to the will of the Father and therefore is the absolute fulfillment of everything God has told us of Himself and His purpose for us.

When it comes to the new legislation and anti-bullying  policy, all they are doing is treating the symptom of a greater problem. Let me clear and frank, it is NOT the job of the school/government to be the primary source of teaching morality. That can, should, and MUST being at home. The unfortunate side of things is that not every home has Christian, or even moral parents. Sometimes the home life causes more problems than anything. Yet, the school aught to teach students the concepts or character and integrity, honesty and love for one’s fellow man, and how to put those concepts into practice. If the schools, and parents, and friends, and community spent more time and effort teaching young people the kind of righteousness that God expects of us, believer or not that would fix more of the problems. We wouldn’t have to make a district policy that cracks down on kids who bully other kids. Whether one is a Christian or not, the kind of right action and morality that God expects of us is the kind of things that has been lost in our homes and schools.

You cannot just legislate morality and only address symptoms; you have to address the heart. Teach the students how to be kind and compassionate towards one another, treating each other with respect and dignity. Correct the disease at the heart, and the symptoms goes away.

“Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.”

I have recently developed new understanding of these which I now wish to impart.

Reduce:

Reduce my pride.

Reduce my anger.

Reduce my words; for we know that

where words are abundant,

sin is not absent.

I pray I may reduce so that Christ may increase in me.

Reuse:

Nothing good really ever expires,

but it is good past its original use:

A shoe box may hold many a thing once the shoes are out;

So, too, a heart may outlive many a tenant

and has room, always, for growth.

No knowledge is ever useless

or beyond applicability; but everything bears use

again and again.

Recycle:

To recycle is like redemption –

it takes that which has been discarded

as trash

and is made new by way of its

original metal.

We have been recycled, and thus,

made new.

So too, should we recycle…

that is to say, redeem –

buy back those things which are lost and

discarded;

make the most of all that is had.

Going green, I am reminded that all things are but echoes, shadows, remains of things that have been before. Solomon wrote, “nothing is new under the sun.” Just as no knowledge or experience is truly germane – not really – so too, no word uttered has never been spoken. Therefore, I see that one must reduce all fruitless discussion – much of what we say anymore is of no significant contribution anyways; reuse that which has borne fruit previously; and recycle them. It is not enough to merely regurgitate some quotation without semblance of meaning, context, or equivocation. It is bad enough to be understood, let alone misunderstood. True; our experiences and interpretations are perfectly valid; but one must balance that (or in some cases, wage war) against what was intended by the artist who is accredited with that construction. That being said, recycling bears the idea of making it current, valid, comprehensible, applicable, etc. One should not feel that he/she are losing his/her voice by “going green,” but rather that one is finding it, for as was stated previously (in slightly different wording) : nothing you can say has not already been said.

Therefore, again, I urge you: Go Green.

Reduce your words – God has given us two ears and one mouth for a reason; one should listen twice as much as he speaks. You learn a lot more from listening than you do from talking. In addition, do not waste time, it is already limited more than you know. Reduce the amount of resources you spend on insignificant things. Spend more time loving – it keeps things simpler.

Reuse what is not unusable – nothing we do cannot be remedied; though it cannot be undone. A heart, once filled with love, broken and filled with hurt and regret is not incapable of loving or hoping again. No wisdom imparted by previous generations is inapplicable, but can and should be reused, also.

Recycle your time and the things of “old” – “Be careful, then, how you spend your days, not as fools, but wise – redeeming your time for the days are evil.” Much good can be found in what others have discarded. Do not be so quick to throw away something either without, first, attempting to understand, appreciate, and apply it to your own experience.

“Going Green” has some pretty significant contributions.

Have you gone “green”?

Technology’s evolution has provided, for us, new avenues of communication. Things like telephones and cell phones; the internet and email; text messaging and social networking and blog web sites (ironic?). This advents are wonderful things that allow mass communication in, relatively, no time. Previously, one was dependent on the mail service. While the USPS is great and, for the most part, reliable, it still takes time for a letter to arrive somewhere; and there’s no telling if they are even home. One had to mess with forwarding addresses and it all got very cumbersome. Thank God for email and *instant* messaging.

However, these wonderful inventions, like any other, have their undesirable results as well. For starters, these avenues of instantaneous communication have encouraged our tendency, as people, to be very impatient. Everything always has to be as fast as we can think. We demand what we want; and we want it right now. When was the last time you met a patient sixteen year-old? Teenagers – speaking from my own experience as one – are impatient, by nature. They are learning and in the time of their lives where everything is rampant and replete with passion and an irrational sense of urgency. Yet, rather than teach patience to ourselves, we just buy new things that give us what we want at a quicker speed.

A second problem is that of literacy. When it comes to quick messages, we don’t always take the time to spell correctly, use proper grammar, or even punctuation. Sometimes there is little to no punctuation or capitalization. Most texts that I see are like abbreviated E. E. Cummings poems with poor spelling. I know that I am an English major, and so this is more of an issue of irritation for me than others; but, it is nonetheless a problem when students write major essays and test questions with text abbreviations (e.g. btw, ttyl, etc.) and occasionally color them with “lol”s. However, I cannot entirely be complained since blogging and texting encourages reading and writing, though more simplistic and can be a grammatic nightmare.

The third problem – and what is, to me, the greater of these – is the impersonal nature of these communications. Granted, a text or email can be quite handy in a pinch (e.g. “running late,” “I’m in class,” etc.). Generally, text messages are great when you don’t have time for, or are in a situation which prohibits, a phone call. Yet, we will text a person who is sitting right next to us. I must say, however, that it is a good way to make an inside joke or personal remark. Yet this great “convenience” also allows/encourages lack of human interaction. Sometimes a phone call is more efficient and less likely to be misunderstood than a text.

Why do we text when a call will do better? We often text because we don’t actually want to talk to that person. As one who studies literature, I have a profound appreciation for solitude and isolation. It’s a great way to refresh one’s self and grow personally. This concept has even found its way into Evangelical Christianity and Biblical interpretation in the way of “quiet time”; one’s personal time, secluded, where one can pray, read, reflect, etc. I have a profound appreciation for solitude. Yet, like any other tool, it must be used responsibly. When God had made Adam and gave him a couple of jobs, He noticed that Adam was still lonely. Seeing that “it is not good that the man should be alone,” God made Eve from Adam’s rib. He gave us one another. We humans are, by nature, social creatures. We need one another. Too much alone time does weird things to people. Have you ever been around someone that has a lot of alone time/”doesn’t get out much”? They’re kinda weird. A lot of isolation makes people go crazy. This is why, in our modern day, that prisoners are no longer isolated for their entire term, but associate with other inmates; “solitary confinement” is reserved for the unruly and is only temporary. It is cruel to leave one entirely alone.

We need each other.

We “tweet” and make Facebook statuses to tell people what we are doing. Nobody cares/wants a continuous update on your activities. Silly quips are always fun (e.g. “No matter how fast I read, I will NEVER catch up on my Amazon wish list…”(my friend, Michael)); but no one needs to know that you are waiting on the mail man, or working on an exam, or going to the grocery store. If you ask me, it’s just another way to talk at people, instead of talking to them. Don’t just update your status and make silly retweets; actually take the time to talk to someone. In our busy, day-to-day lives, we don’t always have expendable time to allocate to keeping in touch with friends. For the things that are important to us, we make time. We prioritize, if only for a moment and spend our time on something we deep important, simultaneously neglecting something else. That is what tells someone you care about spending time with them: you neglect something else, no matter how important, to spend some time. Families have been broken up because men and women did not get this – thinking that they have to work all the time to provide the best life for their families, when all that is needed or wanted is just some time with the one they love. Time with you.

Please, don’t misread this as a rant against twitter or texting. All I’m saying is: these blessings that are made to simplify our lives can, if not used correctly, distract and weaken us as people. Learn to be patient. Learn to read and write correctly (E. E. Cummings had to know the rules to break them). And learn to spend time with the people you love and develop the habit of communication with people. Don’t let anything rob you of the things that make us human.

My encouragement to you today is to, if only for a while, turn off your computer, turn off your cell phone and iPod and all that. Cut yourself off from the world for a moment and just be. Take a look around you and engage your world. Breath. Reflect. Read something. Then, when you plug back into the network, actually, thoughtfully, converse with someone.

When that shop closed, two years later, I began to work for America’s Best Coffee. Something I learned, through them, was more of what went into producing quality coffee. I still am involved with them, over two years later. I even sell it outside of the coffee shop, through an organization that they created. Something I learned, that is rather cool, is how coffee is decaffeinated. There are multiple methods. The one most people know of is the European method, which involves using a chemical solution to separate the caffeine from the bean. This method leaves the bean tasting, rather different. Not to mention that the idea of a chemical in their coffee, freaks most people out. Instead, America’s Best Coffee (and consequently, America’s Best Coffee Reserve) uses the swiss method, involving water pressure. This leaves more of the natural flavors and oils in the beans while removing more of the caffeine. This is, practically, the closest to completely removing caffeine that humans can do. It is also used on teas.

Similar methods are used to separate cocaine from the cocoa leaf used in coca-cola. However, in all of these, there are still, always, trace amounts. It’s unavoidable. Even at our best, we cannot undo what God has done. Just this simple, everyday illustration reveals a little bit more of God’s sovereignty in regards to our free will. We are able to chose and God is never bothered by it. No matter what we do, God’s purpose will still be accomplished and everything He made will be used in the manner for which it was created.

Kinda makes you think, doesn’t it?

Even at our best, we can never undo God’s work, or throw Him off of His game. He’s got it all in His hands.

We all remember those days in our childhood when the best way to avoid punishment (i.e. spankings, groundings, etc.) was as easy as deny, deny, deny, and blame someone else.  I, personally, could not get away with it. I have no clue how, but my parents, especially my mother, could always tell when I was untruthful as a child.

That all being said, it is sad when we see grown men and women, even organizations and corporations avoiding responsibility and acting like children. You may, or may not, have heard about the recent events involving United Airlines and a man named Dave Carroll. Basically, United employees were careless with Carroll’s $3,500 Taylor acoustic guitar while loading the plane that Carroll was on. In their usual fashion, they were tossing the luggage…including the aforementioned guitar. Despite it being in a hard case, the guitar was broken. Since United would not pay to replace the guitar, Carroll wrote and recorded a song and made a video for it.

You can read his story in more depth on the site, <http://www.davecarrollmusic.com/story/united-breaks-guitars>

I mention this because, at least in this particular situation, United officials’ policy seems childish. They are avoiding responsibility for something that is clearly their fault.

How many of us are acting like that every day? Avoiding responsibility for our actions? We make decisions based on spur of the moment emotions and feelings, which isn’t always a bad thing, however, when it turns out bad, how many of us are quick to blame others for our mishandling? It seems to me, that on some level, for whatever reason, too many people have still not grown up to enough to take responsibility for themselves and accept consequences.

The Apostle Paul brings up a similar problem with the church in Corinth. In the famous chapter thirteen, which describes the attributes of love, Paul writes, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.” Now, no adult, especially a grown man wants to be told he’s acting like a child. That “just ain’t cool.” Yet that is exactly what we do when we don’t do as Paul did and put childish things behind us and grow up. A childlike heart, faith, and innocence is entirely different from the moral actions and decisions we learn to make, growing up. Paul here is saying, stop thinking like a stinkin’ three-year-old and increase your depth of understanding. Those people that we ALL recognize as intelligent, wise, a benefit to mankind, all realized that the world does not revolve around them and what they want. Eventually, we have to learn that other people are often more important than ourselves.

Now please don’t misunderstand me; I’m not preaching against United Airlines or anything like that; they are merely an example of the behavior and thinking that is crippling us, not only as a nation, but as a race…the human race. When did morality and care about others go out of the window?

It is time that the human race, beginning here…now…right where we are in life, in our spheres of influence and expertise, that we start acting like adults should act. We need to take responsibility for our actions and start thinking with rational compassion and intelligence. In schools during the Italian Renaissance, youths were taught that honor, respect, and responsibility were to be chosen over personal gain. For over four centuries, the models of education founded in the Renaissance have influenced – more accurately formed – the educational system of the western world. Yet, it seems that we have decided that we can move away from that. Moral living, respect for other individuals, a sense of the common good, and RESPONSIBILITY need to be taught in our schools and homes again.

It is time to take back the things we have lost….the things that make us Human.

There’s a statistic out there that says that one in every six boys is the victim of sexual abuse before the age of eighteen. I’m not one of them…not really; at least, not in the generic meaning.

I was raised in a Christian home with good, loving parents. All through growing up, we always went to church on Sundays and Dad played in the worship band. I was somewhat “sheltered” in my youth, so I was very timid about interacting with people I didn’t know. I didn’t make friends that easily…not really. But I was in church; I heard the sermons; I went to the small group ministries, though I was required to stay with the adults. Needless to say, I didn’t always get much out of them, but I read by Children’s Beginners Bible, the hardback one with all the pictures so little children could understand better and not get as bored. I even made the decision to become a Christian at a pretty young age. I can honestly say that I understood the invitation about as much as any six-year-old does at Vacation Bible School.

I learned what I could from parents and teachers and did my best to be a “good little boy.” I wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I even had to get my mouth washed out with soap once for my language (until then, I didn’t know that “butt” could be used in so many ways and could get you in to trouble for overusing it).

As I previously said, I wasn’t the most socialized child and so I had this constant feeling of being left out and that practically none of my friends really liked me that much. I was a dork. Eventually another boy, (for animosity sake I will call him George) George, befriended me. I had never paid him any attention, yet he sought me out. He invited me over to his house, on a Saturday, to play. I miss the simplicity of childhood, sometimes. Even the vocabulary of friendship wasn’t so convoluted with equivocation.  Thus began our friendship.

George’s mother had some medical encyclopedias, and George and I were getting to that age where we were curious about girls and anatomy. One day he showed me a drawing in one of the encyclopedias of a woman’s breasts. We were enthralled. It was from that point on, that George and I discovered porn. I was nine-years old, I believe. Now it would be easy for me to blame George for precipitating outcomes, but the truth is: boys are boys, naturally curious and will discover these things on their own eventually. If it weren’t him, someone would have. Puberty hit and along came bodily changes and silly educational videos in fourth and fifth grade about it all. They passed out deodorant. Here began the male population of my generation’s relationship with masturbation. Yes, I said it. We are, theoretically, all grownups right?

I can honestly tell you, that it wasn’t long before I felt bad about all of it. For starters, it had to be a secret…not generally a good sign for something OK. It was strange though, because I seemed to be the only one of my peers with that conviction. I was twelve. The saying goes that you are always your own worst critic, and that is true. My whole life, I was exceptionally hard on myself. After a spanking or punishment of some sort, I usually put myself in time-out…sort of. I sat on the floor in my closet and cried. And so, I was irritated with myself. As I learned about things, particularly sex and girls and the moral ways in which things are to go, I became increasingly disparaged. I felt gross, ugly, dirty, like if anyone knew, nothing would ever be the same. I feared the anticipated rejection of the admitting my immorality. So I kept it a secret.

As I got older and began to understand more of church, I sought refuge in faith. I can tell you now, despite my childhood conversion, that it was that moment, at fourteen, that I really understood God’s forgiveness for the first time and received it. I promised God that I wouldn’t do those things anymore and that I wanted to do what is right. I broke my promise that night. From then on, I felt like I was hiding it from God, too. I had nowhere to turn. I began to justify it, “God forgives everything if we ask; so sin and then ask forgiveness later.” Even that, though it made sense, left me feeling no better. I was still alone and dirty. Depression and self loathing began to take root, building on my pre-existing insecurity and the fact that I was a pubescent, teenage male and therefore, very awkward.

I tried telling my parents, once, that I was depressed, but they didn’t take it too seriously. “Teenage mood-swings, that’s all.” I know I’m no brainiac now, and certainly not then, but I knew there was more to it than that. I couldn’t talk to George about it, he didn’t understand and he wasn’t a Christian. He would have just said, “Forget God! Do what you want.” I was really alone.

I started trying to go to youth church on Wednesdays, thinking at least here are some people that might be like me. But I felt like no one even remembered my name. I think I met this one guy every Wednesday night, for three weeks. I stopped going. I still went to Sunday morning youth church and sat in the back.  At this point, I am a freshman in high school, playing football, in advanced classes and drowning in them because of my lack of organizational skills; George now goes to another school, far away, and we don’t talk much anymore; and I’ve developed two identities: me alone, and me with everyone else.  I made new friends – football in junior high helped me with that. I still, to this day, thank God for football; it gave me a place to let out my frustrations, get stronger, and feel like a part of a team…plus it’s just an awesome game.

I had “dated” girls before, but how serious can a relationship be at that age, and what are you supposed to do? Neither of you can drive yet; you have no job and no money, except maybe allowance if you’re lucky; dating before sixteen is really pointless. You hold hands and walk to class together, maybe even hug or kiss. There were some kids that were sexually active, even from twelve and on; but I didn’t even have my first kiss until I was thirteen, and I asked her for it. Like I said earlier, life was much simpler then, even though it felt, at the time, like chaos and hell. But, for the most part, I was very lonely. I tried to be way too serious. I told one girl, in an email on AOL dial-up, that I loved her. Her mother saw it and forbid her to speak to me anymore. It was in that October of my freshman year, 2002, that I contemplated suicide as a way out of my torment. I was at my Grandmother’s house in Oklahoma, on homecoming weekend (I didn’t have a date anyway), and I sat in the back living room starring at a shot gun and crying and praying. I remember asking God, “PLEASE! Take all this away. If not, at least let me know that you care, that I have hope. Send me a sign. Let me know that you care.” I listened earnestly, but my head was flooded with so much noise that, even if He spoke, I didn’t hear it. I sent a goodbye text to a friend, who tried to talk me out of it, clasped the shot gun and cried. I couldn’t do it. I just saw these images in my head of my little Grandmother trying to clean up the mess and it broke my heart – I couldn’t put her through that. I hated myself even more. I couldn’t even do THAT right. I put the gun back. Looking back now, I don’t even know if it was loaded; I didn’t load it and I don’t even think it had been touched in quite some time. I told my dad, later, that I was really depressed. He comforted me and encouraged me.

At church, we got a new youth pastor. The old one moved away to pastor a church in Detroit and the one to take his place was a guy that grew up in the church. I didn’t know how I felt about him. One Sunday, he invited me to youth camp in the summer. I had always known about all the camps that even the little kids took, but I never went. I was never asked, by my parents or anyone. It made a big difference to me that he sought me out. Somehow it seems that is a theme in my life. I talked to mom and dad about it and I went. I still knew nobody…not really. I knew a couple kids, but we weren’t really friends and never talked. I met some people on the bus and in the cabins when I got there. I started making friends at church for the first time in my life. I even had a couple crushes. The services were really cool. I loved the music. It was rock n roll. It was about the time that Switchfoot came out with their song, “Meant to Live” off their album Beautiful Letdown and they played that. The speaker that very first night hit me like a ton a bricks. He shared some of his life story and he had an addiction to pornography and alcohol as a young teenager. While I wasn’t drinking, I still identified with what he said about having a secret and the hurt of it. I didn’t know one could be addicted to that stuff. But it made sense. At the end of the service, all those who had hurts and secrets and wanted prayer were invited to come to the front. I was scared out of my mind, but I did it, and my youth pastor prayed with me. It was great, I felt invigorated.

The next morning, there was another group session, and the speaker said that he had a dream the night before that someone with a white hat was struggling with an addiction. I was wearing a white hat… He gave a sermon on freedom in Christ, and then invited the one with the addiction and the hat to come forward if they were there. Some kids went up there, and some of them had white hats. I stayed put. My heart was racing in my chest. I could hardly breathe. I was sitting there thinking, “Is it me? I’m I supposed to go? I don’t have an addiction…do I?” Still he called out. He said that the one from his dream was not up there. I knew it was me, but I couldn’t go. I just made these friends and I didn’t want to lose them. I didn’t want my fear to come true. I was certain that everyone would stop liking me if they knew. He prayed over the group that was there, and made a special prayer for the one who was not there and prayed against addiction to pornography. I felt so terrible. I knew it was for me and I missed it. I had a chance to get help, and I missed it. Another day to carry my secret. Other guys talked some in the cabins about girls. One of my new friends even talked about masturbating. Everyone did it. But still, why was I the only one with this aching notion that it was wrong?

The week went on, full of games and sermons and fun. I had a great time and flirted by butt off with a couple girls. Then that night came. It was the last night, and there was special emphasis on the sermon and invitation. My youth pastor was the speaker. The theme of the camp was “live to die” based off of Matthew 10:39, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” The point being, living for Christ. Yet the invitation was different; once we were all up there, we were asked to pray for one another; to share as we saw fit and confess; to be prayed for by our peers. It was crazy. It began to just explode. I don’t know how else to say it. The atmosphere was so think I could barely breathe. I prayed with several guys and even my pastor at one point. In fact, the spirit of it all grew so much, that kids began to go on stage and around the room to people still sitting in their chairs to pray with people. The band stopped playing because they were praying with people and confessing. The pastor had like 8 people praying with him in a huddle. There I was, alone in the crowd, and I hit my knees, eyes full of tears, and I cried out for God to save me. I was so sorry for my sin, and I understood now what it was all about. I again, asked Him into my heart. It was like salvation all over again. It was like being born for the first time. The band was playing a song that said, “Freedom reigns in this place. Showers of mercy and grace falling on every face. Freedom reigns.” And the great part is, for once I felt free. I shared my secret in prayer and was received with love from my friend who didn’t judge me, but understood. I wasn’t alone. In fact, there were men EVERYWHERE dealing with the same thing. I went home different for sure.

Sophomore year was interesting. I got involved with an on campus organization, reminiscent of FCA, called Student Venture. Some football friends of mine were in it, so I knew people and I met even more. They even started having Bible studies for guys at a friend of mine’s house. His mom opened up their home to teenage boys and a man who led us, named Tom, and she even fed us. Truly, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach because every person that has been in that house and been fed, loves that family.

I had a girlfriend. I met her at church. She was really cool. It was interesting though, because in dating her, I ipso facto rejected another girl that liked me and that I liked. Not an easy thing to do, and very rare. I think things like that make it hard for guys to be humble. Yet this relationship, that lasted almost two years, had begun. We fell in love…my first love. We wanted to be in ministry together. She went to another school, not far away, so I could still see her, now that I had a license and a car. As happens with teenagers in love, the back seat was a common place for us. We never had sex, but made out a lot and explored. I will say no more. Even in this, my previous problem – not really a secret anymore – still lingered. It hurt her when I confessed to her of a slip up. I have always taken things seriously, even when it is not best to do so. Naturally, to avoid the hurt, I didn’t always tell her. However, she understood that it was, as the book calls it, “Every Man’s Battle” and didn’t judge me too much for it. She was loving and encouraging. Even when I was staying clear of those things for periods of time, they still affected our relationship…specifically when making out. We wanted to get married at seventeen; we felt that God had made us for each other and we were “called” to one another. Needless to say, as with any relationship and any first love, nothing lasts. She drove me nuts. She was bossy and controlling at times. I drove her nuts with my emotional-ness. Although I was never part of the crowd that proudly proclaimed it, I was “emo.” She was also very jealous and insecure and so hated every female friend of mine.

At one point, she was having a lot of family issues and started drinking. We were invited to a mutual friend of ours’ house for a New Year’s Party. There would be much drinking. She wanted to go, and I didn’t feel comfortable about it. We argued. It only brought out everything else and I ended up getting in my car and driving away. I stopped behind an only abandoned wal-mart and got out. I hated my life and wanted to die. I was still screwed up and the relationship I was in I knew was wrong but couldn’t and wouldn’t get out of it. There was a ledge and a twenty or thirty ft drop off there. I texted a couple of people another one of those suicide note-texts. I knew it wasn’t a big enough fall to kill me, so I was going to dive head first so my neck would break. They started calling and texting me, trying to talk me out of it. One of them, the one that I had talked to three years earlier, called my parents and my friend’s parents who held the Bible study on Fridays with Student Venture. Eventually the police found me, handcuffed me and put me in a squad car. I was taken to a hospital 45 minutes away. I was “interrogated” about what I was doing and why and everything but my pants and shirt were taken from me so I couldn’t hurt myself. I was locked in a room with, what seemed to be, twenty or so, other suicidal people. The walls were that bullet-proof glass and the bathroom door was locked so they could monitor us. There was a phone on the wall and I used it to call home. I talked to mom and dad and my girlfriend who was there. Her parents didn’t think it was safe or wise for us to date anymore.

I left there with my parents like six hours later under order to seek out counseling and my parents took away my car keys. Being grounded sucks bad enough, but is worse when it’s for hating yourself. Time passed and the girl and I did finally break up right before Spring Break, senior year.

I was destroyed, but relieved. I went to prom with a friend and we actually dated some, but were never in a relationship.

College started for me in the fall. I went to Dallas Baptist University. I made plenty of friends and had a lot of fun. The guys I hung with weren’t that different from me in their spiritual struggles. I shared with my close friends about my depression and they didn’t look down on me or judge me for it.

Sophomore year came and I had a new girlfriend. She had a secret, too; but that is hers to tell. She too was a sweet, Christian girl. We got very emotionally connected very quickly by sharing our life stories and secrets. One night, in September, we were making out in her apartment, and things kept going. That night I gave away my virginity. I say gave away, because I never liked the term “losing one’s virginity.” It sounds so passive, like it was taken from you. I willingly gave mine. After that, this cloud hung over me. I felt so guilty, just like with porn, like everyone could see right through me and despised me. But I loved her. The relationship kept on with much of the same. It lasted four months when the conviction and the familiar overwhelming feeling that I wasn’t supposed to be in that relationship became unbearable. I tried to talk to her about it, and it broke her heart. We were done. I was so devastated, more from the fact that I was just another guy that seems to have used her and left her. I hated myself more than ever. I swallowed half a bottle of hydrocodone and went to bed, hoping to not wake up. I did and proceeded to vomit. I was light headed and in immense pain. A couple roommates called my parents while taking me to the ER. I recovered and there in the ER, spilled my guts to my parents about EVERYTHING. Please excuse the pun.  Although they were clearly disappointed, they were comforting and understanding. They didn’t condemn me. No one did, but me and maybe her. I talked to her and we decided to give it another try. It didn’t last very long and followed with another painful breakup.

You see, I was a victim of sexual abuse…but by my own making.

Here I am today, almost two years later, and I’m OK. I’m engaged to a wonderful woman who drives me nuts and I love her. She knows all of my secrets and mistakes. I know that the knowledge of the them hurts her, and to an extent, they still affect our relationship. But we are submitting to Christ in all of it. I try to remind myself, everyday of God’s forgiving love and the common struggles of humanity. I am not now, nor have I ever been, truly alone. In the midst of everything I cling to one verse, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” That’s the point of it all. Yes, I made mistakes and suffered consequences, but all of it is for the good because God has comforted me and brought me through it all. Now I can be one who stands in the gap for people like myself who have secrets and hurts. I’m here today to tell YOU that you are not alone. Yes you, reading this article. Everyone has their secrets. You may be nothing like me, or maybe you can identify with every word I spoke; but let me tell you this, we are all humans and not one of us is perfect. We all hurt sometimes. We all make mistakes. And we are all forgivable. Don’t let another moment pass you by, and don’t make the mistake of thinking your forgiveness is more costly than God’s…He had to die for His. And you cannot hide anything from God. He loves you. And it’s not like the love that others claim, the one’s that use you and abuse you and break your heart. God will never abuse you, leave you, and turn His back on you. Take if from someone who has lived through it and survived. Life is full of lessons and opportunities and God is the one who teaches us. You are not alone and you are not condemned. I encourage all of you to find someone, somewhere, and tell them about what you are going through. As always, I am praying for you, and I will leave you with this:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

-Jesus

Thank you for your wisdom. I have only a couple things to add, however.
You addressed the profession of faith vs. prayer. While prayer is essential, the “sinner’s prayer” or prayer of salvation (generally a repeat after me thing) is a western, evangelical creation and did not exist before hand. Praying for God’s forgiveness is half the process. One must also profess faith in Christ.
Romans 10:9 saysthat if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
The act of receiving Christ is two-fold.

Also, while you have the right idea and intentions, the statement that Christ and the disciples were poor is also false. They were neither rich nor poor, but average, what we would call middle class, merchants.
They were a carpenter, fishermen, a tax collector, and other trades. Non were considered poor, but they were not rich. Also, history tells us that for someone to be in traveling ministry as they were in that time and culture, they also had to have a trade of their own to pay for food and other services. Not poor, but not rich either.

Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not destroying your article, but rather adding to it…affirming it. God’s judgment is coming and their are false prophets and doctrines among us. The word tells us in Romans 2, “But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God.”

Be wise in all your dealings. And do not forget the truth on which the Prosperity gospel is preached… God does reward the faithful (though be it not necessarily in any form…i.e. money). And that faith is the substance of life and through it and by it in Christ, ALL things are possible.

4.5 stars

If you are looking for another comic book adaptation to slam the box office this weekend, the Watchmen will surely disappoint. Adapted from Alan Moore’s graphic novel, Watchmen is an epic, visual slam to the senses for an average movie-goer. I don’t expect it to tackle Dark Knight’s box office record, by any means, but it will not be easily forgotten by any viewer.

There are basically two kinds of people who will go see this movie: ones who have read the graphic novel and so know the premise and story line, and those who are looking for a visually stunning piece of cinematic entertainment. Neither should be disappointed.

Director, Zack Snyder adapts his unique style to the most acclaimed and celebrated graphic novel, while choosing to stay claustrophobically close to the source material. Entertainment Weekly quotes Snyder as saying that the novel’s fans are his primary focus audience. That being said, the movie is just as graphic, violent, and adult as the novel has always been. Snyder’s fans will enjoy his usual distinctive such as the usual freeze frame and fast-forward action shots, intense color, and graphics that draw one into another world.

The Watchmen is NOT a superhero movie. Taking place in 1985, in a world where Richard Nixon is in his fifth term as President, the Cold War is eeking closer to the edge of nuclear war, and thus “doomsday” is constantly a countdown. Beginning in the 1950’s, police men and women took justice into their own hands to remedy the city and world of corruption and crime. They are not super by any means, but they are heroes in that they stand up for justice and truth no matter what. The Comedian, the source of plot being his murder, while being a hero is a parody of the more base and cruel side of humanity. He reflects what is wrong with the world and fights against it. While Rorschach, the moral compass, as it were, of the group is a “nutcase.” His name derived from the Rorschach inkblot test, represented by his mask. With characters like this driving the story along, it is plain to see that Alan Moore was not looking to make just another group of superheroes, but to explore what REAL people in those positions would be like in the REAL world. Thus the more base, cruel and darker sides of humanity are drawn out like venom to be examined in a lab.

The concept of everything being a practical joke denotes the deeper meaning of the story: that man-a finite being, subject to change, hate, pain, perversion, and general corruption-could make a better world devoid of the very flaws and malignancies what make us human to begin with. That is the practical joke. Taking that in mind, the story will not leave one, as I was, unprepared for the graphic nature, convoluted histories, and “darkness” portrayed by the movie.

I would give the Watchmen a 90%. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 64%. I opinion, if you are looking for a superhero movie, as I’m sure many are, don’t see the Watchmen. If you want to see it, prepare yourself and go in understanding what the story is about. This is no Batman/Spiderman/Superman movie. Watch with care.

Questions:

1. Does a perfect civilization exist?

2. Is Man capable of overcoming his own evil?

3. Is man innately good or evil?

4. Is truth an absolute or only relative?

5. Does someone need powers or a costume to be a hero?

Age appropriate viewing rating: 18 +

Written by,

-Jaron Ward

It has been said by countless elderly over the years, that today’s youth, today being relative, just don’t have a sense of propriety. Propriety is generally defined as “conformity to established standards of good or proper behavior or manners” (Random House). Why does that matter? Do people today need propriety? The simple truth is that when people throw standards of good behavior and manners out the window then the rest of society suffers.

Culture is defined by the people that live and act within it. When a group of people are uncouth and bad-mannered, it presents the image of incivility. “Civility gives specific content to the norms by which American subjects…are disciplined and gives specific cultural meaning to the American body politic” (Dean 122). Without civility a society crumbles, or rather tears itself apart. Civility is built by the members of a society becoming civilized, or rather, proper and well-mannered. This is partly to blame for the arrogant and uncultured stereotype of Americans held by most Europeans. Consequently, they are in return viewed as arrogant and rude by Americans. These stereotypes, like most, are not true for the entire group; but the actions of a few mess it up for the rest and perpetuate the said generalization. And perceptions are important. Propriety comes from “the Greek noun to prepon, which means ‘to appear conspicuously before the eyes[.]’ McKenna points out that this original definition already implies clear sensory perception, pleasurable aesthetic response, and a conspicuous social appearance for the agent–and that these conform to some cosmic or natural order” (Schaeffer). While this statement is misspoken – prepon being a verb, not a noun – Schaeffer is right in pointing out that propriety is about perception. How one is viewed determines how that one will be treated.

The source of this problem of impropriety arises from a few sources: selfishness, rebellion, and lack of parental education of manners. Selfishness in one’s dealings is a driving force of impropriety today. Adam Smith put it this way in his book, The Theory of the Moral Sentiments, “In the same manner, to the selfish and original passions of human nature, the loss or gain of a very small interest of our own, appears to be of vastly more importance, excites a much more passionate joy or sorrow, a much more ardent desire or aversion, than the greatest concern of another with whom we have no particular connexion” (Smith). Too often we are more concerned with our comfort, wants, or lacks, than we are for the rules of society and common decency. We are driven to attain that which we desire most, no matter the cost, whether our personal expense or that of another. “It is he who shows us the propriety of generosity and the deformity of injustice; the propriety of resigning the greatest interests of our own, for the yet greater interests of others, and the deformity of doing the smallest injury to another, in order to obtain the greatest benefit to ourselves” (Smith). Did not Jesus teach that one should love his neighbor as himself?

Furthermore is rebellion as a source of impropriety. Children have always been averse to following rules that make things more difficult for them. As a result, they rebel, get angry, and disobey. No one likes rules to be thrust upon them and shackled down like fetters. Having no respect for the rules, they are cast off without a consideration of their worth. Rules of manners and common decency and “old-fashioned” and are often chosen to be left behind for one’s own ease and comfort. People rebel because it is our nature to do so when things do not go our way.

As a result of selfishness and rebellion, poor or no teaching of propriety is done by parents. If one does not enjoy a burden, why thrust it onto someone else? This ideology is ironic since the practice of “doing unto others what they would do unto you” is considered good manners. However, people have grown up in homes that did not enforce propriety upon their rebellion and so it was never allowed to take root in their lives. Then the process continues through generations, one not teaching the other how to act.

To make a change in the perception and character of our society, we must pick up again the rules of propriety. That is not to say that everyone should go out and learn proper dinner etiquette, though that would be nice; but that everyone should learn how to conduct oneself while around others. Good manners and common decency are things which cannot, and should not, be neglected. I return to my previous statement, when people throw standards of good behavior and manners out the window then the rest of society suffers.

Works Cited

Dean, Jodi Cultural Studies & Political Theory Cornell University Press, 2000

Random House “propriety.” Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 22 Oct. 2008. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/propriety>.

Schaeffer, John D. “Stephen J. McKenna. Adam Smith: The Rhetoric of Propriety.” Albany: State University of New York Press, 2006. October 22, 2008 <http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2342/is_/ai_n27100733>

Smith, Adam The Theory of the Moral Sentiments 1759. October 22, 2008 <http://www.adamsmith.org/smith/tms/tms-p3-c3a.htm>

Something that both songs touch on is selflessness. True love should put the object of that love before oneself. Percy sings how a man would give up all his possessions and forgive all wrongs for love. He also talks about how she gives him what he needs. Love should be focused on the others needs and not one’s own. Yes, we all have needs and desires that must be fulfilled; but that is exactly why communication and fulfilling the needs of the others is so important. Love is a two way street; you gotta give and get. There has to be a flow. Does that make sense? Love is not selfish, but gives without ceasing. Love always forgives and holds no records of wrongs.

Alicia Keys hits the point right on the head. When love is REAL it’s unconditional. She sings how when you love someone you give them your all, no matter what. When they are weak, when they are strong, right or wrong, you love them. You CHOOSE to give them your all. That’s what love is. It is a choice. It is a promise. It is a binding and lasting covenant. There is something so powerful and unexplainable in that phrase. Those three little words can crush a tyrant and save a soul. It gives its best even when you are at your worst. When you say the words, “I love you,” you are saying, ‘I am going to put your before myself, forgive you when you wrong me, no matter how hard it is. I am going to always give you my best. I promise to stay faithful and true to you. I will do everything within the limitations God has placed on me to be the man/woman you need. Then I will rely on God to do the rest. I promise not to exalt you or put you on a pedestal as perfect. We are one and will work through things together. I will not quit on you.’

Love is kind of a loaded word don’t you think? Too heavy to be thrown about like a cheap and fleeting fancy. It is too precious to be traded and given to every person like free samples at a strip mall. Yes, we are called to love everyone as God would love them, forgiving them and being courteous to them. But do not use that word so cheaply. If you are to use it, understand what you are saying. Love is not sex, or affection. Love is not the ‘warm-fuzzies’. Love binds all things together and does not seek instant gratification. True love waits and never ends.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u_OnVhh82E